Ask Kay

Send me your questions/stories/comments/concerns/hopes/dreams/aspirations/ANYTHING here: myorganizedgibberish@gmail.com  and I'll post my advice ASAP. Let me know if you want to be anonymous (or just use anonymous as your name) and I'll respect that (: 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Dear Kay, 

This will be my first year at college and I'm really nervous about it. I'm afraid I won't be able I find my classrooms. I'm afraid I'll have trouble making friends. But I'm most nervous about living with a random roommate. Do you have any advice for an anxious freshman?

 -Anonymous


Dear Anxious Freshman,

Take three deep breaths. Little better? Good. Now, I was in the same boat as you only two years ago. It's a scary thing to move away from home and meet all new people. I get it. But you can't let yourself dwell on the fact that things are changing because this is going to be the time you can fully be yourself. 

Tip to finding your classrooms: Most freshmen move to campus on the Friday/Saturday before the semester. So what I did was I spent the day before classes, with my schedule in hand, walking around campus finding the buildings and the rooms where I had to go. I mapped it out in my brain and figured out how much time it took to get from each class to the next. I still do this every semester, and I know this campus like the back of my hand!

Tip for making friends: BE YOURSELF! At this point in life, there is no point in being anyone other than yourself. You are going to meet so many people who are in to so many different things. Find what attracts you, join a club, sign up for that one class that interests you even if it's not for your major, and just be yourself in those classes. The people who will become your lifelong friends will want to be around you for who you truly are. You got this!

Tip for the random roommate: Go into that room with an open mind and remember your random is probably in the same boat! Understand your random has his/her own view on life and it may or may not mesh with yours. I didn't do that, and I feel bad that I didn't. I had a rough start to my freshman year with a random roommate. We just weren't compatible and I wasn't happy. I didn't handle it very well. But there are two things I suggest you do if you and your random don't get along. First and foremost, talk to each other! I didn't talk to my random and things ended really badly between us (she won't even look at me!). Talk it out. Be adults. If that doesn't work, go to your RA and bring it to his/her attention. Then you can work something out with your RA and your random. But most of all, be open minded and be an adult about it.

Does that help? I hope so! 

Kay



                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Dear Kay,

 My parents got divorced when I was a sophomore in high school. Now my dad has a fiancée that is forcing me out of his life and he doesn't even realize it. How should I bring up how I feel to my dad? Should I talk to his fiancée too about it?

-Melanie

 Melanie,

I completely understand how you feel right now. I went through this too, only I was younger and more naive. I think the best way to go about this is to ask your dad for a "daddy-daughter date night" (those were my favorite nights when I was little!). When you have alone time with him, ask him if you can talk to him about something honestly. Then just nicely, calmly, be honest with him. He needs to recognize how his daughter is feeling with his pending marriage. No matter what happens, he is your father and he will love you. By telling him you have felt neglected ever since his fiancee came in the picture, he will be able to fix it and remind you how loved you are. 

As for talking to his fiancee, I think what you can do is wait to have this conversation with your dad first. After that talk, tell him you want to talk with his fiancee too. Maybe he can talk to her/him first to bring it to her/his attention, then you all three talk about it. You are growing up, and your dad will be able to respect that. You have feelings, and it's okay for them to be known. 

The most important things to remember are to remain calm when talking to them and keep in mind that your dad deserves love too. It's not an attack on you or your mother. He deserves happiness even if you disagree with it. 

Hope I helped!

Kay

                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Dear Kay, 

I go to college in Platteville and my boyfriend goes to college in Milwaukee. Lately he's been asking me to transfer schools, but Milwaukee doesn't have my major. What should I do? I love my boyfriend and want us to work out, but Platteville has exactly what I need for my future career. 

-Anonymous

Dear anonymous,

Stay in Platteville. Don't ever make a big decision regarding your career based on a guy (who is just a guy at this point, not a husband). You are at the point in life where you make decisions for YOUR life. If he can't respect the fact that you are doing exactly what you want for your future in one city while he's in a different one, then maybe he isn't right for you. Don't change your life for some guy. Don't allow yourself to settle for anything less than you deserve. Unfortunately,  something I have learned is that love is not always enough. You can love someone with all you have and still know you can't stay in that relationship. If he is not willing to let you live your life how you need to and you stay with him, then that is settling. No one should ever settle. 

I would talk to him. Let him know that while you love him, you can't drop your whole future for him. Either he will respect that and wait out the years you both are at school, or it won't work out and you will find someone who will fit in to your life how you need him to. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself! I have faith in you.

Go make the best of your life, with or without a guy. 

Kay

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Hi there!

I want to start something new with My Gibberish.

I love to help people and am often the "go-to" person for advice. I have been for as long as I can remember. So, I want to bring that part of myself to my blog.

If there is anything--and I mean ANYTHING--you want advice on or just another person's point of view, I'm your gal! Be it relationships, love, school, work, family issues, mental health, life in general, ANYTHING. I got your back.

So send me your questions, comments, concerns, stories, hopes, aspirations, anything you want!

You can email me at myorganizedgibberish@gmail.com and I'll post the question and my response. I will keep it anonymous if you so choose. Just let me know in the email!

I promise to not reveal any information you ask me not to. However, I cannot read minds, so if you don't tell me not to include something then I can't promise you it won't get posted. So just keep that in mind (:

So please send me your emails! I would love to hear from you!

Until next time,

Kay

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