Tuesday, June 30, 2015


Another month has come and gone, and I am feeling happier every day. So, I think I should introduce you to one huge reason why I am as happy as I am. I have mentioned him before in my posts, but I have yet to mention him by name or formally introduce him. My boyfriend, let's call him James, is by far one of the biggest reasons why I am as happy as I am.

If you remember back to a post from September, "Chivalry," you get a sense of how well he treats me.
This man came into my life somewhere around the beginning of September 2014. We worked together at the Writing Center (WC) on campus, and all we talked about was poetry, Spotify, and music. We hadn't seen or spoken to each other outside of the WC until the second Thursday that we closed. We were walking out, and I was saying how my friends had already eaten without me so I had to find something to eat. He offered to drive me to Taco Bell to get away from campus food for a bit. I was hesitant because I didn't normally hang out with a guy like him, but I was hungry. We sat at Taco Bell for a long time sharing stories. On the drive back to my dorm, he let me vent about the boy problems I was having at the time. He didn't seem to mind, but I'm sure he did a little. He said he would always be available to talk if I needed, so he handed me his phone so I could put my number in-- I didn't realize it at the time, but that was the smoothest way to get my number! When I got back to my dorm, Ariel (see earlier post) asked where I had been. I told her, and she got all excited thinking I had a new boyfriend. I told her, "It's not like that at all, I'm not even attracted to him like that." I was wrong; I just didn't know it yet.

The Sunday following Taco Bell, James and I started texting about the Bears game and how they should listen to us because they'd play better--still true. He very casually invited me over to his fraternity for Wine Wednesday. Naturally, I started freaking out. It was a fraternity! A guy I barely know! But, the girls reassured me that I was close enough to campus that I could leave if I wanted to. So, I went. And boy was I wrong about everything! Those guys were the nicest and funniest group of guys I've ever met.

Side note: The stigma surrounding Fraternities is true in a few cases, but the majority of fraternities are full of wonderfully kind guys.

Anyway, Wine Wednesday is what started the desire to get to know each other. He walked me home that night and gave me a huge hug. A hug so powerful it practically fixed everything that was wrong with my life in one moment.

That hug inspired this poem:

They never made her feel important. Their every breath suffocated
her. She was broken and ruined for all men. So she says. Until
the night I embraced her. I laced my arms around
her core like a relieving exhale. A hug as tender
as a lover’s breath. Finally, I got to hold her to show
she has as much purpose as life’s first gasp. She is
as desirable as every breath following. I strengthened my
clasp, effortlessly raised her, and suddenly we were floating like
a silent sigh. Her smile was no longer forced. Love
filled me like a satisfying inhalation. Finally, she was mine.

That was the moment I knew I had been wrong about him the whole time. I could go on forever about our story and how we got to where we are now: living together in a trailer we fixed up with his family's help, raising a three month old kitten, and starting the rest of our lives with each other. He irritates the hell out of me, but the amount of love and happiness he gives me surpasses the annoyances. I can't thank him enough for all he has done, continues to do, and will do for me. He is the biggest blessing in disguise I've ever had. 

So, thank you honey. You have made me a thousand times happier than I knew I deserved. Thank you for supporting me in my dreams and helping me stay grounded. You are the best-- I know you've heard that one or two times today already--and I love you.

Until next time,

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