Saturday, November 21, 2015

Here is a poem I wrote over the summer in response to the song Everyone's Got Something by Perrin Lamb:


Everyone's Got Something

Everyone’s got something.
Something no one else can see or feel.
You hide yours deep within,
for what?
Fear of defeat?

Something will release the senses
beyond reason and you’ll win;
if you allow another to know your something.

Permit the cloak to fall off
so you can be seen.
For the freedom of passion,
let yourself be seen.

Everyone’s got something.
Guide me to yours.

Welcome the unknown that frightens and
deters you from loving indefinitely.
Damage may be inevitable; but for the
satisfaction of knowing you tried,
                                allow yourself to be felt.

Everyone’s got something.
Let me be the one to know yours,
                and you can have mine.


Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!


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Saturday, November 14, 2015

This is a post I never imagined I would write. Since losing my beautiful mother one year ago I have been channeling my grief through my writing, and I this is the one time I can't channel it the way I want to. There is no possible way for me to describe what this last year has been like for me. So, after dozens of rewrites (and I'm not exaggerating; I literally rewrote this post dozens of times) this is what I have come up with: a song I imagine she sings to me now, and a small selection of pictures.


My loving boyfriend snapped this picture of me at
Momma's grave without my knowledge.

You can read the story of the last time I saw Momma here.

Momma, I'm sure you're enjoying every bit of your time up there. But there are no words for how dearly you are missed down here. Your voice. Your handwriting. Your advice. Even your jumbled up texts we had to decode. Every flaw and perfection is missed. I love you Momma. Enjoy Heaven.

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Saturday, November 7, 2015

Back in June I wrote a post called Contemplating Life, and this week I want to revisit it. In that post I wrote of how I was unsure of what I wanted to do for a career. I had been debating between editing and publishing. I also wrote of how I, as the assistant editor of a book campus publishes, was only at the editing stage and decided I didn't like it. I was hoping the publishing side of it would be better. Well, I was right. To a point.

After all the edits were complete, I was doing more of the project coordinator duties. So, I didn't get to see the physical publishing of the book (and hopefully I can do that in the future). But I discovered a job that I didn't know I wanted to do. I enjoyed every bit of organizing the project, keeping everyone on track, the finished product, and organizing the reception we threw this past week to honor the student authors. Being a project coordinator/assistant editor gave my presence purpose and direction. That is something I didn't know I would discover through this position, and I'm glad I did!

It makes total sense, too. For about seven years I assisted a fellow teacher, who I became close with, at the dance studio in her classes. I helped keep my best friend on track with what class she was teaching when, what the choreography was from last time, and kept the students focused and respectful. I loved every second of it! I have always enjoyed organizing and assisting other people. Weirdly enough, being an assistant is just as fulfilling, to me, as being the head honcho.

So, who knows where I'll end up. But I'm excited to find out! Only three semesters left until my bachelor's degree, two (or three?) years of grad school until my master's, and then it's the real world.

Bring it on life! I'm ready for ya (:

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Saturday, October 31, 2015

As October comes to a close, I felt it was necessary to share a bit about what this month has been like for me. Life became a checklist of tasks, events, and projects. Which is to be expected with another semester already half way complete, but the tasks themselves—the events, the projects—have been unexpected. I am taking on a lot more than I ever knew I could, and I'm actually doing well! I'm finding new directions my life could go, exploring new areas in writing I didn't know intrigued me, and revisiting the old to make something new.

Life was hard for a while (and always will be to some extent). I have classes and people that are stressing me out and overwhelming me with to-dos. But I am capable of handling it all. I am strong enough to handle whatever life throws my way. I am brave enough to try something new; to take on tasks I'm unfamiliar with. I am confident enough to find a job that makes me happy rather than a job that pays well quickly. Happiness pays off in the long run. I am passionate enough to to use my time in a way that will add value to not only my day but someone else's, too. I just need to remember all that sometimes.

Life is also a constant trip on a Tilt-A-Whirl. I'll be going one way with a piece I'm working on, then I'm whipped in the opposite direction. I'm spinning in circles around different blog posts I want to write and projects I want to work on. I slide back and forth between being miserably stressed and surprisingly happy. It can get stressful and irritating at times, but I also kind of like it because I'm being more creative than I ever have been. I'm more willing to try new things (well, to a point...let's not get too far out of the comfort zone just yet).

I also want to extend an apology to all who keep up with me on Twitter and Facebook. I haven't had the time or focus to be social lately. Life has been hectic. Schoolwork comes first followed by work, quality time with loved ones, blog posts, then social media. But don't think I've forgotten about you! I still love and miss joining in on chats regularly, reading other blog posts, commenting, and being a part of the blogging community. Once the semester ends, I'll have some time again to be actively social. I know fellow bloggers understand the craziness of keeping up with all blogging entails, but I still feel bad!

Now don't get me wrong. Life hasn't been all stress and exhaustion. There has been some good things as well! For starters, I turned 22 two weeks ago! Birthdays are always reason to celebrate, right? The week of my birthday I also celebrate five other birthdays in my family. It's a big ol' birthday bash! Also, I was lucky enough to celebrate my one year anniversary with my wonderful boyfriend. I wrote about him in a previous post, "James." I am the luckiest girl alive to be loved by this man. October has always been a celebratory month for me, which is why it's basically my favorite month (:

So that's my life lately. How are all of you doing?

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Saturday, October 24, 2015

Sharing My Fiction

It's been a while since I shared some of my writings with you guys. I want to share a piece of flash fiction I have written that I'm debating turning into a short story. Let me know what you think!


Cab Drive

That September morning started out as the majority of others do in New York. Grande Dark Mocha at 8:00 am, and I reading the manuscript for the autobiography of John Graham, a CEO, I was to be meeting at 9:00. Even though I’ve read it almost a hundred times, I had to refresh my memory. I remember thinking, I don’t want to upset him, like the other publishers who turned him down. I want him to know he’s important to us. All I was going to do was a final fact check with him before I approved it to be published. If I got that done while maintaining this client’s trust, my day would have been successful. 

8:20 am; I picked up where I left off in the chapter on his family history as my cab was stuck in traffic. I could hear the multi-linguistic insults echoing the honks of too many cars. We drove one block every five minutes. I could see the time passing too fast for how slow traffic would allow. My mocha was lukewarm by then, and I couldn’t help but wonder if I was going to be late. I don’t want John to think I’m standing him up at our meeting.

8:30 am; I had reached the end of his family history chapter and was moving on to learn about how he had come to work in worldwide trades. Little did either of us know, that business was about to take a drastic hit. My mocha was gone, and more profanity was sounding from the ornery drivers trying to get to work without being too late. I was beginning to be worried I wasn’t going to make it, I still had another fifteen minutes until our meeting and I was almost 4 blocks away. It’s not like I can get out and walk. I’m in my good heels, and I can’t read and walk at the same time in this city.
8:40 am; I was still nowhere near the south tower I was supposed to already have been walking in to. I start getting worried that John is going to cancel and go to Penguin Publishing Company. Besides, they were his first choice, but we just happened to be closest to his office. I’m glad he stayed with us; this autobiography will be one my best to have ever published. Maybe now I’ll get that partnership. If I ever get—

The cab stopped. The driver slammed the breaks and I saw a man in a suit and tie, carrying a briefcase, running across the street. Our cab almost hit him! The man had stopped and stared at me; we made eye contact for that quick second before he continued running. Huh, he must be running late too. 

8:45 am: I watched him run away and then stop dead in his tracks looking up. “What is he looking at?” I peer out the window at the sky that was becoming oddly dark.
That plane looks way too low…


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