Monday, October 20, 2014

Finally

Every Sunday for my Creative Writing class we write and post a poem that fits a writing prompt given by our classmates. I wanted to share with you a poem I wrote for two different prompts. The first we had to revise a poem we wrote this semester and have only ten words on each line, and it had to be ten lines long. Here is what I wrote for that particular prompt:




Finally
They never made me feel important. Their every breath suffocated
Me. I was broken and ruined for all men. Until
The night he embraced me. He laced his arms around
My core like a relieving exhale. A hug as tender
As a lover’s breath. Finally, I was held as if
I have as much purpose as life’s first gasp. I
Felt as desirable as every breath following. He strengthened his
Clasp, effortlessly raised me, and suddenly I was floating like
A silent sigh. Smiling was no longer a burden. Confidence
Filled me like a satisfying inhalation. Finally, I was mended.


Last night's prompt was that we had to revise a poem written this semester and change the point of view and have enjambed lines. Enjambed lines are sentences that do not end at the end of the line but continue to the next line. I did this in the first poem. So, for last night's prompt, I decided to revise "Finally" into the point of view of the guy in the scene. Here it is:



Finally
They never made her feel important. Their every breath suffocated
her. She was broken and ruined for all men. So she says. Until
the night I embraced her. I laced my arms around
her core like a relieving exhale. A hug as tender
as a lover’s breath. Finally, I got to hold her to show
she has as much purpose as life’s first gasp. She is
as desirable as every breath following. I strengthened my
clasp, effortlessly raised her, and suddenly we were floating like
a silent sigh. Her smile was no longer forced. Love
filled me like a satisfying inhalation. Finally, she was mine.

It may not seem like a huge difference, but changing the point of view of the speaker in the poem gives the scene a whole different feel. You get to experience both sides of this story. Which end up being fairly similar to one another. Which tends to be how moments like that are in real life. When it's with the right person, moments like that are interpreted similarly by both people involved. I enjoyed writing both views of this poem. I hope you enjoyed reading them!

Until next time,
Kay

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