Friday, September 19, 2014

Self Love

Throughout my entire life I have had countless events that wore away at my self-confidence. I hid behind my innocent church girl mask for the sake of those I love. I couldn't bare to cause them any more stress than was already being inflicted. I bit my tongue when I shouldn't have. I walked away so they wouldn't see my reactions. I wouldn't let anyone see my potential and passion for my talents. I hid my true self.


Let go of the stress, be free, and be yourself!

Self-love was never a part of my vocabulary. I worried about others, their well-being and opinions. I wanted to be sure everyone else was happy before myself. I let them lash their anger out on me, I could handle their frustrations because I knew they weren't directed at me. I never showed off what I am capable of when it comes to my singing, dancing, playing instruments, and my writing. I believed no one wanted to hear/see any of that. No one cared enough. I also thought it was necessary to be a people pleaser in order to be happy. Therefore I hid how I felt until I got to bed at night and let it silently explode onto my pillow.

With each year that passes, that mask peels off more and more. I am becoming less afraid to speak my mind. I am starting to show my reactions and who I truly am. I am beginning to share my writing with people (hence my blog), and I'm singing/dancing in front of people. I'm slowly but surely becoming confident in my own skin. I still struggle with pretending at times, but that desire is fading.

I have found that I am much happier being exactly who I am. If someone doesn't like it, well that's their problem. I am caring less about what people think of me. I would much rather be myself and be happy, than to be someone I'm not and miserable inside. Granted, this is going to take quite some time before I am completely confident. I mean, I was hiding myself for about twenty years. Change doesn't happen over night.

If you take anything out of this blog post, I hope you are reminded that it's perfectly okay to be yourself. Even if there are people out there who don't like it, there are millions more who will. Be who you are, don't let anyone influence or change you in anyway. That took me twenty years to learn, and it's taken others much longer to learn. If you can engrave it in your brain now, you're better off.

Have a great one!

Until next time,
Kay



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