Friday, September 5, 2014

Raw

Never did I expect to be blindsided by the Amtrak express headed directly for my chest. 
The impact left my heart raw. I can feel the burn of the hydrogen peroxide being poured directly in the cuts. 
They just want to make sure I'm not infected. What they forget is I'm still cringing. 
I need to get back up, not be reminded of the trauma my heart endured.
Forget the peroxide, forget the stitches.
Take back the Amtrak express.
                                    
This is a poem I wrote last night. It's not the greatest, but it was in my heart. I thought I would share.

Last night brought one way my life will be changing this year. I fully expected this to happen, but I never wanted it to. I didn't think I would hurt as much as I do by something I saw coming. 

It's funny isn't it? The things that hurt us emotionally. The things that cause us to physically feel the "trauma." I say it's funny because these are the things we could prepare our hearts for. We had time to cushion the blow. However, we had no way of knowing how much to cushion, how much preparation we needed. We fully expect something like this to come, but we choose to beileve it won't. 

That's what we have friends for right? Those girls I told you about in the last post (Judgement Free Zone), they will take care of me. They know how to keep my spirits up. They know how long to wait before doing so.

But for now, I do what I can to lessen the rawness of my heart.

Until next time,
Kay

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